Embracing the Most Important Love of All: A Valentine’s Day Letter to Yourself

February is a month filled with love—heart-shaped chocolates, blooming roses, and sweet handwritten notes all remind us to celebrate romance; we’re surrounded by reminders to celebrate love. But this year, I want to invite you to shift the spotlight inward. What if the most important love story you nurture isn’t with someone else but with yourself?

In my work as a therapist, I’ve witnessed a quiet epidemic: the harsh, unkind voices so many of us carry within. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I don’t deserve this,” or “I’ll always fail” echo in minds like old, broken records. These beliefs often take root in childhood, planted by criticism, comparison, or trauma, and over time, they fuse with our sense of identity. We mistake them for truth. But here’s what I want you to know: These thoughts are not you. They’re wounds wearing the mask of your voice.

The Weight of the Inner Critic

Imagine carrying a backpack filled with stones, each labeled with a judgment or fear. “Too sensitive.” “Not smart enough.” “Unworthy of love.”

For years, you’ve grown used to the weight, believing it’s just part of who you are. But what if you could set that burden down? What if you could meet yourself with the same compassion you’d offer a struggling friend?

Self-love isn’t about vanity or selfishness—it’s about safety. It’s the foundation that lets us breathe deeply, take risks, and heal. Yet, too often, we treat ourselves like a project to fix rather than a person to cherish.

Rewriting the Script

Healing begins with awareness. Start by noticing:

When does your inner critic shout loudest? Is it when you make a mistake? When you’re alone?

Whose voice does it sound like? A parent’s? A teacher’s? A society that told you to be smaller?

What’s the truth? If your best friend shared these thoughts, what would you say to them?

One of my clients once described her self-talk as “a storm I can’t escape.” Together, we practiced grounding her in simple, steady truths: “I am trying my best.” “I am allowed to take up space.” “My worth isn’t earned—it just is.” Over time, the storm quieted.

A Valentine’s Invitation

This February, I encourage you to write yourself a love letter. Not a Hallmark card, but a raw, honest note that says:

“I see how hard you’ve been working.”

“You don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”

“I’m here for you, no matter what.”

Keep it in your wallet, tape it to your mirror, or tuck it under your pillow. Let it remind you that you are the one relationship you’ll have for a lifetime—and it deserves tenderness.

If this feels daunting, you’re not alone. Healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself overnight; it’s about building a new relationship with the parts of you that feel broken. As a therapist, my role is to walk beside you in that process, offering tools to quiet the noise and reconnect with your innate strength.

This Valentine’s Day, let’s commit to the most radical act of love: choosing ourselves.

This Valentine’s Day, give yourself the gift of grace. You are worthy of your own love.

This Valentine’s Day, honor the love that starts within—nurture, cherish, and celebrate yourself.

With warmth and hope,

Natasa Lazarevic

Licensed Clinical Social Worker